After the Handsome Monkey King got his name, he thanked Master Puti enthusiastically. The patriarch ordered the disciples to take Wukong to the inner courtyard and teach him to sweep and the proper manners to use among the disciples. Obediently, they went out. Outside, Wukong paid respects to his senpais,1 and they found a place for him to sleep in the front hall. Every morning, he would learn oration and etiquette with his senpais, discuss philosophies of the Way, practice calligraphy and burn incense. Each day passed like this. In between times he would sweep and weed, plant flowers and trim trees, collect firewood and keep the hearth, fetch water and wine. All that he needed was provided to him. Without realizing it, he stayed in the cave for 6-7 years. One day, the master ascended the pedestal to lecture. It was as if the heavens had opened, pouring forth jewels of wisdom as the master expounded on Daoist and Buddhist teachings.2
When Wukong was listening to this, he was so happy that he began to scratch his ears and head,3 to smile and make faces.4 He couldn’t sit still, but got up and began to move as if dancing.5 The master saw this and called to Wukong: “You are in class. Why are you dancing and not attending to my lecture?” Wukong said. “Your pupil was listening closely, but when I heard the marvelous things my teacher spoke of, I was so overjoyed I began to move around without realizing it. I submit to my master’s judgment.”6 The patriarch said, “Since you say you hear marvelous things, I shall ask you, how long have you been in the cave?” Wukong said: “Your pupil is simple, and doesn’t know the length of time. I only know that when there is no fire in the hearth, I often go to the other side of the mountain for firewood, and see the mountainside full of peach trees. Seven times I have eaten my fill of peaches there.” The patriarch said: “That mountain is called Lush Peach Mountain.7 If you have eaten there seven times, you must have been here seven years. What have you come to learn from me?” Wukong said, “Whatever master thinks is right, if it has even a tinge of Daoism, your pupil will learn it.8”
The patriarch said, “Within the Way there are 360 approaches; they all bear fruit.9 Which approach would you like to study?” Wukong said, “Whatever master wishes, your student will learn diligently.”10 The patriarch said, “Shall I teach you the way of Shu?” Wukong said “What is the Shu approach?” the master said, “Within the Shu are those who practice divination with yarrow stalks and invite good luck while averting evil.”11 Wukong said, “Can this approach give one immortality?” The patriarch said, “Of course it cannot.” Wukong said, “I won’t learn it!”
The patriarch again said, “Shall I teach you the way of Liu?” Wukong asked again, “What is Liu?” The patriarch said, “Within Liu are the schools of Confucianism, Buddhism, Daoism, Yinyang, Mohism, and Physicians. These read scriptures or pray to Buddha.”12 Wukong said, “Can this approach lead to long life?” The patriarch said, “Seeking long life this way would be like placing a pillar in a wall.” Wukong said, “Master, I am a simple man and don’t understand the figures of speech of the marketplace. What does “placing a pillar in a wall” mean”? The patriarch said, “When one builds a house and wishes to make it secure, one places a pillar inside the wall. However, one day the house will crumble, and the pillar, too, will crumble.” Wukong said, “So you’re saying, it also doesn’t lead to long life. I won’t learn it!”
The patriarch said, “Shall I teach you the way of Jing?” Wukong said, “What is the goal of Jing?” The patriarch said “The practice of fasting, silence, meditation, and abstinence.”13 Wukong said, “Can one gain long life this way?” The patriarch said, “It would be as useful as the unfired bricks on the kiln.” Wukong laughed and said, “Master really is cryptic. I’ve already said I don’t understand figures of speech. What does “unfired bricks on a kiln” mean?” The patriarch said, “Just like unfired bricks on a kiln, although they have their finished shape, they have not been tempered with water and fire. In the first big rainfall, they will revert to their formless state.” Wukong said, “It also doesn’t lead to immortality. I won’t learn it!”
The patriarch said, “Shall I teach you the way of Dong?” Wukong said, “What is the practice of Dong?” The patriarch said, “These practices include alchemy, the burning of rushes and forging of cauldrons, imbibing red lead, distilling autumn stone, drinking bride’s milk, and the like.”14 Wukong said: “Do these result in long life?” The patriarch said: “To pursue long life this way is like trying to pull the moon from the water.” Wukong said, “Master is at it again! What does “pull the moon from the water” mean?” The patriarch said, “The moon is in the sky. The reflection is the water. Although you see it, you cannot pull it out.” Wukong said “I won’t learn it!”
The patriarch, hearing this, harumphed15 and leapt down from the pedestal. Pointing a ruler at Wukong, he said: “You insolent monkey. You won’t learn this and won’t learn that. What are you waiting for?” He walked up to Wukong, hit him three times upon the head with the ruler, folded his hands behind his back, and entered the back room, closing the door behind him and leaving the disciples. The terrified disciples turned on Wukong, saying: “You impudent monkey! The master offers to teach you the Way, yet you refuse to learn it, and instead quarrel with him. Now that you’ve offended him, there’s no telling when he’ll come out.” Although the others grumbled and disparaged him, Wukong did not get angry and only smiled in response. It turns out that the monkey king had already guessed the master’s riddle, so he didn’t argue with the others, but rather kept silent. By hitting him on the head three times, the master was telling him to come during the third watch.16 By folding his hands behind his back, going into the back room, and closing the door, the master was telling Wukong to come in through the back door, where he would teach him the Way in secret.
During the third watch
半夜三更, which I’ve translated as during the third watch, is a common way to say the middle of the night or the dead of night. In common usage, it’s not a precise time but rather conveys a general feeling.
1 Seniority is really important in this book, and in Chinese culture in general. The term I’m translating as senpai literally means ‘older brother under the same teacher’. The word I’m translating as master means ‘teacher-father’. ↩
2 This is a whole poem comparing this guy’s lecture to ‘golden lotuses’, ‘jade and pearls’, and ‘thunder’. What I find interesting here is that this Daoist master teaches both Daoism and Buddhism. ↩
3 This is a Chinese idiom that shows anxiety, delight, or frustration. ↩
4 This literally means ‘eyebrows blurred eyes laughing’ ↩
5 More ADHD vibes. ↩
6 This actually says something like ‘I will my master to punish me.’ But, um, we have dirty minds here so we’re not going to use that here. ↩
7 The word I’ve translated here both means ‘ripe’ and ‘rotten’ (what?). When it’s used positively, the connotation is ‘plentiful and colorful’, but that’s too long for the name of a mountain. ↩
8 This phrase literally means ‘even the air of Daoism’, so maybe I should’ve gone with ‘even a whiff of Daoism’. But in English, that sounds more crude, whereas Wukong is a bit more polite here. ↩
9 I don’t know anything about Daoism, and I’m not going to for the proper terms here. I would rather the average English speaker get a general idea than be precise. Professor Yu calls them ‘divisions’ rather than ‘approaches’. ↩
10 When speaking subserviently in Chinese, one tends to get a bit third-person. Very your humble servant-esque. ↩
11 Also includes inviting immortals and something to do with this blue phoenix-like bird. ↩
12 Prof. Yu says these guys also conjure up saints? *shrug* ↩
13 Unclear if abstinence refers to sex. It definitely includes abstaining from alcohol and meat. These guys are also into solitary confinement. ↩
14 Apparently alchemy here has to do with the balance of Yin and Yang, drinking menstruation blood (red lead) and boys’ urine (autumn stone). …No comment. ↩
15 He definitely made a disapproving noise. I’m not sure what it sounded like exactly. ↩
16 Around midnight. ↩
Etymology Adventures 