They say that the heavenly troops brought the Great Sage Equal to Heaven to the execution platform and tied him to the pillar there, but he could not be harmed by guillotine nor axe nor pierced by spear nor sword. The South Polestar General ordered the immortals of the Department of Fire1 to blast him with fire, but he would not burn. He then called upon the immortals of the Department of Lightning to strike him, but they could not harm a single hair on his body.
The Strong Demon King led the troops to report to the Emperor: “Your Majesty, we don’t know where this Great Sage learned such protective powers. We cut him with axe and guillotine, burned him with fire and struck him with lightning, but could not harm a single hair on him. What should we do?”
“A fellow so…so… how should we deal with him?” the Jade Emperor said.
Laozi quickly spoke up. “That monkey ate immortal peaches, drank immortal wine, and then stole the golden Pearls. He ate all five bottles of Pearls I had, aged and fresh.2 All of these must have smelted into one solid mass, granting him a diamond-hard body that cannot be harmed. I suggest this old Daoist take him and place him into the Furnace of Eight Trigrams. The fire of mind and body will distill out the elixir and reduce his body to ash.
The Emperor commanded the guards to untie him and hand him over to Laozi. Laozi received his orders and left. Soon after, Immortal Master Erlang was announced. As reward for his service, the Emperor bestowed upon him a hundred golden flowers, a hundred bottles of immortal wine, a hundred pearls of immortality, as well as jewels, silks, and other articles of value, with instructions to divide it amongst the brothers. Erlang returned to the Jiang River Mouth. We won’t mention him any further.
The old Daoist brought the Great Sage back to Doushuai Temple, untied him, removed the spear that pierced his scapula, and pushed him into the Furnace of Eight Trigrams. He ordered the disciples maintaining the furnace and the youths tending the fire to fan the flames and begin distilling. The trigrams of the furnace were Qian, the trigram of Heaven, Kan, the trigram of Water, Gen, the trigram of Mountain, Zhen, the trigram of Thunder, Xun, the trigram of Wood and Wind, Li, the trigram of Fire, Kun, the trigram of Earth, and Dui, the trigram of Swamp. The Great Sage crawled beneath the trigram of Wind, and where there is wind, there is no fire. But the wind stirred up the smoke and his eyes turned permanently red from the ash, and his eyes were known from then on as Eyes of Golden Flame.
Eyes of Golden Flame
火眼金睛, or Eyes of the Golden Flame, now refers to someone with a piercing or discerning gaze. In this chapter, it is referring to the color of Wukong’s eyes, but because Wukong is often able to see someone’s true identity even when they are transformed, it has taken on this second meaning.
Time passed quickly. Before long, forty-nine days3 had passed, and the distillation was complete. Laozi opened the still to take out the Pearls. The Great Sage was rubbing the tears from his eyes when he heard the sound of the furnace being opened. He forced his eyes open and saw a light. He seized the opportunity and leapt out of the furnace. With a clatter, he kicked over the Furnace of Eight Trigrams and walked out. The servants tending the fire, maintaining the furnace, and all of the guards and soldiers went to stop him, but the Great Sage was like a rabid tiger4 or a crazed dragon, and they were all knocked down. Laozi rushed forward to grab him but was instead seized and thrown headfirst to the ground. The Great Sage pulled his staff from his ear, waved it about to bring it to bowl-thickness, and without regard for good or evil, wreaked havoc on the palaces of Heaven with such violence that the Nine Bright Ones hid behind closed windows and doors and the Four Heavenly Kings were nowhere to be seen. What a monkey!
5This time, the Monkey King did not hold back. The iron staff swung east and west, and not a single immortal could stop him. He fought his way to Tongming Hall, outside of Lingxiao Palace. Luckily Master Immortal Yousheng was stationed outside of the palace. Seeing the Great Sage on a rampage, he raised his golden flail to block him, yelling, “Where do you think you’re going? I’m here to stop this tantrum of yours.” The Great Sage didn’t stop to explain but raised his staff. The guard raised his flail to block, and the two fell into chaotic battle.
6Courageous servant, known far and wide.
Rebel against Heaven, with infamous pride,
The good and evil fated to meet,
Two towering heroes to compete.
Vicious staff, agile flail,
How does the righteous one prevail?
The one an awesome god with a thunderous sound;
The other the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, self-crowned.
The golden flail and iron stave
Both fabled weapons of immortals brave.
Before Lingxiao palace they flaunt their might,
Their skill and power – what a sight!
One wants the Palace for his own,
The other defends Heaven’s throne.
The fight too fierce, spells have no chance,
They’re evenly matched in this deadly dance.
They fought a while, but neither could defeat the other. Before long, Master Immortal Yousheng issued a message to the Department of Thunder and summoned thirty-six thunder gods to surround the Great Sage and engage him in battle. The Great Sage showed not an ounce of fear, meeting attacks from all sides with his single staff. Soon though, the strikes from swords and halberds, whips and axes, maces and spears increased in ferocity. With a shake, the Great Sage transformed, taking on a three-headed six-armed body. With a wave, the Will-Abiding Staff became three. His six hands spinning three staves as if wheels on a cart, he whirled in the circle of thunder gods like a dervish. The thunder gods could not close in.
Shining bright, spinning ’round, can an equal e’er be found,
That fire could not burn, and water could not drown?
As a shining Mani Jewel, cannot be harmed by any tool.
Can be evil, can be good, does what he wants, not what he should.7
When good – immortal buddha is he.
When evil – a horned demon he’ll be.
Rampaging through Heaven with changing form,
To defy the Immortals of the storm.
While the gods had cornered him into one spot, none could approach. The yelling and fighting disturbed the Jade Emperor, who issued a decree sending Divine Officer Youyi and Immortal Master Yi to the Western Heavens to ask the Buddha for assistance.
1 …the fire department lol ↩
2 I think Laozi is insinuating that these Pearls need to be aged like wine. The word 生 in can be used to mean uncooked, unripe, and un-aged, whereas in English, uncooked is raw (wrong meaning in this context), unripe is …unripe, un-aged wine is juice (no), un-aged cheese is green (weird) or fresh (the best choice). So I picked “fresh” as the word here but it’s not quite right. ↩
3 literally says seven-seven-forty nine, an excellent example of a real-life 口诀 (koujue) ↩
4 lit. epileptic tiger ↩
5 cut out three poems because whyyyy ↩
6 Hi poem fight scene :///// ↩
7 chaotic neutral by definition ↩
Etymology Adventures 
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