I. Am. Exhausted. There are at least 14 poems or monologues in verse in this chapter. Now it’s not that there weren’t poems in previous chapters. There were. When we are introduced to Erlang, the description is in verse, for example. I had just made the choice to convert these poems to prose. But there are so many poems in this chapter that I just could not ignore them (after the first three) and thought, what the heck, let’s give it a go.
Right off the bat, I just completely cut out three poems in part 1. Then, poem number 4 is a fight scene, and you can’t just cut out a fight scene. I put a decent amount of work into making this one feel like a poem in English by making it rhyme. I even manage to keep some of the parallel structure of the original. And the rhythm is not complete shit. Go me!
Courageous servant, known far and wide.
Rebel against Heaven, with infamous pride,
The good and evil fated to meet,
Two towering heroes to compete.
Vicious staff, agile flail,
How does the righteous one prevail?
The one an awesome god with a thunderous sound;
The other the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, self-crowned.
The golden flail and iron stave
Both fabled weapons of immortals brave.
Before Lingxiao palace they flaunt their might,
Their skill and power – what a sight!
One wants the Palace for his own,
The other defends Heaven’s throne.
The fight too fierce, spells have no chance,
They’re evenly matched in this deadly dance.
By poem 5, the rhyme remains, but all sense of rhythm has gone down the drain.
Shining bright, spinning ’round, can an equal e’er be found,
That fire could not burn, and water could not drown?
As a shining Mani Jewel, cannot be harmed by any tool.
Can be evil, can be good, does what he wants, not what he should.7
When good – immortal buddha is he.
When evil – a horned demon he’ll be.
Rampaging through Heaven with changing form,
To defy the Immortals of the storm.
In poem 6, I had completely given up on the rhyme. I did try to briefly try to keep the original rhythm of Chinese poetry – eight beats per line, usually made up of seven syllables plus 1 beat rest or 2 sets of 3 syllables with 1 beat rest after each set – but English just has way too many syllables for that, and I gave up after 3 lines. How are you supposed to keep it to 7 syllables per line if you have to work in the word “enlightened”?
A sage formed of heaven and earth
An old ape of flowers and fruit.
Shuilian Cave I call my home
Friends and masters have enlightened meLong life and magic come from practice
Transformation and power come from study
The mortal realms are too small for me
I’ve set my heart on conquering HeavenLingxiao won’t be forever his
Each generation gets its turn
If might is honor then the seat is mine
A hero must strive to compete and win.”
The fourth line originally is 拜友寻师悟太玄, which literally translates to “to choose as a mentor | friends | respecting | masters | (to) understand | the greatest | mystery”. How many syllables is that? Thankfully, that was the only poem in Chapter 7.2.
Chapter 7.3 is the worst offender when it comes to poems. We start with a poem praising the Buddha. When these poems are diegetic – i.e. actually spoken by the characters – it can really build character. In poem 6, when Wukong does it, it comes off as really arrogant. Look, I can write a poem about myself! Here, when Anuo and Jiaye use verse to praise the Buddha, it comes off as really formal, respectful, and maybe a bit sycophantic.
The year the egg became a being
Determined to find the true Way
Residing in paradise for ten thousand eras
Changed one morning to expend his lifeDeceiving heaven and coveting honor
Blaspheming, stealing Pearls, disrupting order
The evil-filled sees justice today
Who knows when he will be free again.
Since they lead into the poem with “Excellent, excellent!”, there’s also a vibe of a musical where characters are talking normally and then suddenly start singing.
After this there are 8 more non-diegetic poems describing the feast. It’s practically the whole section, so I’ll link it here.
Etymology Adventures 