I am experimenting with narration styles in chapters 3 and 4. Click here to learn more.
They say that the Handsome Monkey King defeated the Demon Lord of Mayhem and returned victorious with his trophy: the demon king’s big dao. He trained every day in the fighting arts. The other monkeys cut bamboo to make standards and chopped wood to make weapons. They spent many days playing army: advancing and retreating, pitching camps, erecting banners, blowing whistles, and the like. One day, Wukong suddenly had a thought. “If our playacting disturbs some nearby monster,” he said, “or if some king of fowl or king of beasts sees our military exercises and suspects us of plotting trouble and leads his troops to attack, I’m afraid our play might become a reality. How would we fight back with our bamboo staffs and wooden dao? We need real, sharp swords and spears. What can we do?” These words alarmed the other monkeys, and they said, “The king is far-sighted, only there’s no way for us to get them.”
At this moment, four old monkeys, two with red buttocks and two with bare backs, came forward and said, “Great King, acquiring real weapons is actually quite easy.” “How is it easy?” Wukong said. The old monkeys said, “East of our mountain, past two hundred li of ocean, lies the country of Aolai. There is a king there, with countless soldiers and guards. There must be workers of gold, silver, brass, and iron there. If your Majesty went there, you could buy or make weapons, train us, and protect our mountain. Then we could have peace for a long time.” Wukong was very happy to hear this. “You all play here,” he said, “and await my return!”
教演我等 – Train Us
You are probably familiar with 我们 for we or us. 我等 is an old version of this pronoun, and literally means I, et cetera. The way to say et cetera in Chinese is 等等, which also happens to mean wait a second!
That Monkey King! In a split second he had somersaulted over two hundred li of ocean and saw that there really was a city. It had six streets and three markets, ten thousand homes and thousands of gates, and people coming and going everywhere. “There must be ready-made weapons here,” Wukong thought. “Why go down and buy them, when I can just use magic to get them?” He uttered a spell and invoked an enchantment, then faced southwest and took a deep breath. When he blew, his breath came out a frightful wind, picking up sand and rocks and sending them flying. 1
Dust clouds billowed up, shaking the very foundations of the heavens. Sinister black fog covered the earth. Waves churned upon the rivers and seas, scaring all that lived in them. Bamboo snapped and trees toppled, sending wild beasts fleeing. All business in the market stopped, and soon not a single person could be seen. The king of Aolai retreated to his inner courts; the soldiers returned to their barracks. Statues that had stood for a thousand years fell. Buildings shuddered in their foundations. 2
That wind was terrifying. On all of the streets and in all of the markets, people hurried to shut doors and windows. No one dared to go out. Only then did Wukong bear down on his cloudhead and descend. He stormed through the palace gate and straight into the armory. He opened the door and saw countless weapons: knives, spears, swords, halberds, hatchets, axes, scythes, whips, rakes, arrows, longbows, crossbows, tridents and pikes, all in excellent condition. Gleefully he said, “I couldn’t possibly carry so many on my own, but I have just the trick for it.” You know what that Monkey King did. He grabbed a handful of his hairs, chewed them up, muttered a spell, and blew out thousands of little monkeys. They snatched up the weapons: the stronger ones taking five or more, the smaller ones grabbing three or four. They cleared the place out. Carried by a cloud, on the back of the wind, Wukong brought all of the little monkeys home.
At this moment, all of the monkeys back on Huaguo mountain were playing by their cave when suddenly the wind howled and the air was filled with thousands of monkeys. They were so frightened that they scattered in every direction. The Handsome Monkey King descended onto the mountain, dispersed the clouds, and shook himself, returning his hairs to his body and leaving the weapons in piles all around the mountain. “Little ones!” he called. “Come get your weapons!” When the monkeys looked out from their hiding places, they saw that Wukong was alone on the mountain, and ran over to greet him and to ask what had happened. Wukong told them the whole story of how he had raised the wind and moved the weapons. The monkeys thanked their king, and then went to claim knives and grab swords, bicker over axes and fight over spears, bend longbows and try crossbows. Laughing and shouting, they whiled away an entire day.
The next day passed as the previous ones did. Wukong tallied all of that troop of monkeys: they numbered more than forty-seven thousand. Their military exercises alarmed all the monsters on that mountain: wolves, insects, tigers, deer, apes, foxes, raccoon dogs, badgers, lions, elephants, bears, boars, buffalo, antelope, green rhinoceros, horned leopards, giant mastiffs3 – all manner of yao kings, from a total of seventy-two caves, came to proclaim Wukong as King over them all. Every year they paid tribute and every season they were assembled and tallied. Some joined in the martial exercises; others contributed foodstuffs. Altogether, they made Huaguo Mountain as secure as an iron fortress. The various yao kings offered up golden drums, colored banners, and armor. The commotion of martial training went on day after day.
In the midst of all this joyful activity, the Monkey King said to his monkeys, “You are all improving in your archery and mastering your weapons, but this knife of mine is so cumbersome. It doesn’t suit me. What can be done?” Those four old monkeys came forward again and said, “Your majesty is an immortal – to use mortal weapons is unbecoming. We wonder if your majesty is able to go underwater?” Wukong said, “Having found the Way, I now have the power of seventy-two transformations, my somersault cloud can take me far and wide, I can become invisible, project my spirit out of my body, and use all manner of magics; the heavens are open to me, as is the earth; I can pass in front of the sun or moon without casting a shadow and pass through metal or stone without hindrance; I can’t be drowned with water or burned with fire. Where can I not go?”4 The four old monkeys said, “The water here under our iron bridge leads directly to the Dragon Palace of the East Sea. If your majesty so chooses, your majesty could seek out the Dragon King and ask him for a weapon.” Wukong was delighted. “Wait here,” he said. “I will be right back.”
奈何? – What can be done?
奈何 is an archaic phrase to ask how one can get out of an unbearable situation. However, it is still commonly seen in the phrase 无可奈何 – to have no alternative. This expression can also be shortened to 无奈. 奈 can also be commonly seen in transliterations of foreign phrases for the nai sound, like in Chanel 香奈儿, or Netflix 奈飞.
1 Did we mention that Sun Wukong is also an airbender? (And a bender of other elements, too, as we’ll soon see.) He is a little terror. ↩
2 Look! A poem-description! ↩
3 Some of these are real-life animals, others are mythical beasts. See image for the mythical ones. ↩
4 lol what. ↩
Etymology Adventures 