Journey to the West – Chapter 3.3

Wukong said, “This piece of iron is exactly what I needed. However, I want to bring up one other thing.” “What else does the Master Immortal wish to discuss?” the King asked. Wukong said, “I wouldn’t have brought this up before, when I hadn’t known about the staff. But now that it’s in my hands, it’s a shame I have no clothing worthy of such a weapon. If you have any armor, you might as well give me a set. I would be ever so grateful.” The Dragon King said, “This, I really do not have.” Wukong said, “A guest should not impose on two hosts.² If you haven’t any, I won’t be leaving.” “If Master Immortal could be troubled to go to a different ocean, perhaps you’ll have better luck.” Wukong said, “I’d rather visit one house than pass through three.³ I simply must beg you to give me a set.” 

The Dragon King said, “I really don’t have any. I would give it to you if I did.” Wukong said, “If you really don’t have any, I shall try out this iron on you!” The Dragon King hurriedly said, “Master immortal, do not raise your hand against me! Let me inquire of my brothers have a set I can give you.” Wukong said, “Where are these brothers?” The Dragon King said, “My brothers are the dragon kings of the South Sea, North Sea, and West Sea: Aoqin, Aoshun, and Aorun.”⁴ Wukong said, “Old Sun isn’t going anywhere! I won’t ‘borrow from three when I can buy from two.’ No matter what you have to do, just give me a set.” The Dragon King said, “Master Immortal need not go anywhere. I have here a steel drum and a golden bell. Whenever there’s an emergency, I can sound the drum and bell, and my brothers will come here immediately.” Wukong said, “In that case, go sound that drum and bell!” When he said that, an alligator General really went to go ring that bell, and a turtle Commander went to go beat the drum.

In just a little while, the sound of that drum and ball had roused the dragon kings of the other seas and they appeared outside the palace. “Older brother!” Aoqin said, “What emergency has made you sound the drum and bell?” The old Dragon King said, “My brothers! This is so awkward.⁵ Some heaven-born sage from Huaguo Mountain came here saying he was my neighbor and asking me for a weapon. He complained that the fork was too small and the halberd was too light. He took that piece of Milky Way iron that was stabilizing the ocean floor – picked it up with his own hands and chose it as his weapon. He’s sitting in the palace now, and he wants some armor too. I don’t have any, so I called you here with the drum and bell. Do any of you you have some armor that I can give him, so I can get him out of my palace?” Furious, Aoqin said, “The four of us should rouse our armies and capture him!” The old Dragon said, “Don’t talk like that! The slightest tap from this iron is deadly! Touching it will break one’s skin; brushing against it will break one’s bones.” The West Sea Dragon King Aorun said, “Second brother,⁶ we can’t act against him. Let’s find some armor to give him and get him out of the palace, then we can report him to Heaven and let Heaven punish him.” The North Sea Dragon King Aoshun said, “Good idea. I have here a pair of lotus silk cloud-walking shoes.”⁷ The West Sea Dragon King Aorun said, “I have a set of locking golden armor.” The South Sea Dragon King Aoqin said, “I have a purple-gold phoenix-feather helm.” Relieved, the old Dragon King brought these back to his palace and presented them to Wukong. Wukong dressed himself in the gold helm, gold armor, and cloud shoes, and swinging his staff in mock battle, left the palace, calling to the dragon kings, “Sorry for the inconvenience!” The four dragon kings were outraged at the injustice and went in discussing how they might report Wukong to Heaven. Let’s leave them to it for now.

The Monkey King parted the waters and returned to that iron bridge where the four old monkeys were waiting there with the rest of the troop. They watched Wukong jump from the waves and walk onto the bridge, completely dry, golden and shining. The amazed monkeys all fell to their knees before him, crying, “Marvelous, your majesty!”⁸ Wukong beamed at them and sprang onto his throne, taking the iron staff and standing it in the midst of them. Now monkeys don’t know trash from treasure.⁹ They all tried to pick up that precious staff, but like dragonflies trying to shake a palm tree, they couldn’t budge it one inch. They sucked their thumbs and stuck out their tongues and said, “Gramps! It’s so heavy! How can you pick it up?” Wukong walked up and picked it up in one hand, laughing, “Everything has its rightful master! This baby¹⁰ was at the bottom of the ocean for who knows how long, some hundreds or thousands of years. This year it started to glow. The Dragon King just thought it was a piece of black iron, and said it was a piece of the Milky Way for stabilizing the ocean floor. No one could move it, so they asked me to get it myself. At that time, this baby was over 20 feet tall and as wide as a bucket. When I held it and wished it was smaller, it got smaller. When I told it to shrink, it got smaller again. There’s a line of text engraved on it that says, ‘Will-Abiding Gold-Banded Staff, 13500 pounds.’ Stand aside, and let’s see what this baby can do!” He stood the staff on its end in his hand and called, “Smaller! Smaller! Smaller!” The staff quickly shrunk to the size of an embroidery needle, small enough to hide inside his ear for safekeeping. The monkeys were aghast, and protested, saying, “Majesty! Take it out and show us more tricks!” The Monkey King really did pull it out of his ear. He held it in his palm and cried, “Bigger, bigger, bigger!” It immediately grew into a pillar, 20 feet long and wide as a bucket. Excited, Wukong brought it out of the cave and worked a heaven and earth magic? Bending forward, he cried, “Grow!” He grew to a hundred thousand feet, his head the height of Mt. Tai,¹¹ his waist as thick as a mountain range, his eyes flashed like lighting, his mouth the size of a sacrificial basin, his teeth like swords and halberds. That staff in his hand: one end reached the 33rd heaven,¹² the other reached the 18th layer of hell.¹³ The beasts and critters, all the monsters on that mountain, and the yao lords of the seventy-two caves all bowed down to worship him, shaking in fear. A split second later he retrieved his magic and reverted back to his normal size, shrunk the staff down the size of a needle, hid it in his ear, and retired to the cave. The yao lords of the other mountain cave all came in great haste to congratulate him.

To be continued…

^{1 The Dragon King actually says 不敢, which means ‘I do not dare.’ It’s a very humble/self-degrading way to deflect thanks or praise. ↩}

^{2 The literal translation is ‘a guest doesn’t annoy two hosts’, so maybe Wukong is a bit more self-aware than he seems? ↩}

^{3 This one says ‘walking (past/through) three homes is not a good as sitting in one home. ↩}

^{4 It is customary to name all of the children within a generation with the same character – in this case, 敖 (Ao) designates that these four are brothers. ↩}

^{5 Literally: it’s hard to say. ↩}

^{6 In Chinese, there are different words for older vs. younger brother (and similarly for sisters). Traditionally, as a sign of respect, you do not use the names of anyone who is older than you, but rather their ‘title’ in the family. Aorun calls Aoqin the ‘second-oldest brother’ instead of using his name. ↩}

^{7 Have you seen that Business Insider video about why lotus silk is so expensive? I had never heard of it before that video – it’s cool to know lotus silk has been a thing at least since the 16th century. ↩}

^{8 The meaning is something between ‘You’re so cool!’ and ‘You look fabulous!’ ↩}

^{9 This phrase conveys something like ‘they have no sense of propriety. ↩}

^{10 The word 宝贝 (treasure) that was giving me so much trouble last post is also used to refer to babies! It works here when Wukong is talking, not so much when it’s part of narration. It’s not as casual as the English makes it sound. ↩}

^{11 A real mountain, and also a mythological mountain. ↩}

^{12 Trāyastriṃśa, one of the heavens in Buddhist cosmology. ↩}

^{13 The Chinese folklore and Daoist concept that hell has 18 layers seems to have been influenced by Hinduism and Buddhism. ↩}